It’s funny how it eats away at you and you never know until it’s too late. Its curiosity at first, just exploring the horizon. A little bit here and a little bit there, nothing life threatening, hell, your evening learning some useful information. But soon the embers you sparked in the beginning start a fire. It keeps growing and growing needing more fuel. You keep going deeper and deeper, searching for new ways to satisfy your curiosity. You try and pass it off as being open minded but your just feeding the fire, burning it all into your mind. What has been seen cannot be unseen, and you want MORE! You don’t realize just how bad it is until you can’t stop yourself, until you scream, “no I wont” while your hand still moves forward. That scream echoes in your head for a second or two and then it’s gone, replaced with a calm, soothing voice telling you it’s not as bad as you think. By that point you’re already so numb that someone could bust a chair over your head and you would still keep on going, digging that hole deeper and deeper until you cant see the light anymore. Then its over. Your back in reality and that friendly voice has disappeared and that protest you shouted into the nothingness comes rebounding back, ringing your ears. That is when the guilt sets in. that is when you know you are truly take.